this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You ruined the universe
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
