I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
