Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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