Sponge bath it is.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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