The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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