every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize