i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
