Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Is it because I queefed?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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