He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
