I bet he comes in French.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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