So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
