She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize