stop calling my apartment porn island.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
