Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
where am i from again
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
