I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
