I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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