Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
be right there i have to get my cape
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
