We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
