alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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