Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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