dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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