All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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