why didn't you poke me back
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
