Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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