I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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