Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
