epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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