Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
is that a dick in a sweater?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
