i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
