did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
