He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
why is half of my head shaved?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
