I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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