i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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