I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
