Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
