Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
