Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
