He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
