I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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