The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
