And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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