what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
