but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
