worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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