im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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