She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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