I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
