I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
