why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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