How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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