the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
