Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
