I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
