He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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