I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
