I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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