An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
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There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
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For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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