Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
