we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
