My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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