fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
