We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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