And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Your penis caused this!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
