So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
